GIVE ME 5 MORE MINUTES
Shout out to @carlihenphoto for these beautiful pictures.
This Blog Is going to be a really emotional blog for me to write. I'm going to share my feelings about the day God blessed me with the biggest blessing I could ever receive.
March 29th, 2017 I was at someone's house picking up a massage table! I do eyelashes from home and I found a good deal on a table that would be comfy for my clients and the perfect addition to my salon. It was a pretty normal day until I picked up that table! When I went to pick up the massage table I DID NOT expect it to be that heavy. Here I am 37 weeks and 4 days pregnant no big deal, right?! I can just lift this 40 pound table to the car by myself. As I lifted the table my water broke! My thoughts at that very moment were, I either just peed my pants which happens frequently while pregnant or my water just broke.
You guessed it! My water broke because there was no way I was continuously peeing my pants! Alone at the time because I had my big girl panties on and could handle the task I had set out to do on my own I drove myself to the hospital. When arrived at the hospital I was feeling every emotion stream through my body. Fear, excitement, happiness and sadness. The sadness I felt was because I knew my midwife was out of town and wouldn't be able to deliver our baby girl like as we had planned yet more then anything I was so excited to meet our baby girl that we had spent the last 37 weeks preparing for.
My labor wasn't to bad until I dilated to a 7, that's when things got scary! Londynn's heart rate began to drop over and over again. At this point the nurses started moving me into different positions in hopes to help Londynn's heart rate. Oh boy was this fun! I was numb from the hips down so thankfully my upper body strength came in handy. After an hour of moving me into different positions it did not appear Londynn was going to cooperate. This is when the preparation for a c-section began. I knew the strength Londynn and I truly needed was in the hands of our Heavenly Father so I began to pray. My only request was for whatever means necessary just make sure Londynn comes into this world safely. Even though a c-section was never a part of my birth plan I would do whatever to have Londynn in my arms! When the nurses came in all I wanted was 5 MORE MINUTES with my husband alone in the room where we had planned on delivering our baby girl and 5 MORE MINUTES to talk to our Heavenly Father.
Heavenly Father listened to my prayer that night. The nurses gave me those 5 MORE MINUTES! In those 5 minutes Londynn's heart rate went back to normal and I quickly dilated to a 9. This allowed us to continue with the delivery as planned. Within 10 minutes and less then 5 pushes Londynn Isbella made her big debute. Apparently she was just as excited to meet us! We were grateful to finally have her in our arms knowing we couldn't wait to meet her either.
We were able to spend some time with Londynn alone while we waited for the pediatrician to come visit. In those hours we spent our time loving on our new baby girl admiring all her beautiful features and everything she was. When the pediatrician arrived she went straight to Londynn and began examining her. We knew Londynn was small so we figured that's what they were taking a little extra time examining her for. After only a few minutes the pediatrician came and asked to speak with us? Our first thought was they were concerned about Londynn's weight and wanted to discuss this with us. This memory isn't easy to think about. I wish it would have been different yet you can only hope for a better experience for someone else in our circumstance.
The way this pediatrician chose to tell us Londynn had down syndrome was in front of other family members. Understand we love our family dearly and could not be more appreciative of all the love and support yet Logan and I felt this was something much more personal and would have preferred it to just be us when we were told. The pediatrician wasn't sensitive with the information she was delivering. When we asked the pediatrician if it was anything we did her response was, "it's just bad luck."
Londynn wasn't bad luck, we hit the jack pot! This is why kids with disabilities don't get the chance to show people who they truly are! People believe they were just a bad luck baby! They are so much more then their disability! This is part of the reason we cried for two days straight, we were afraid of the people that were going to see our baby girl as the bad luck baby! We knew how much we loved Londynn yet we feared not everyone would see how much she was going to change the world in the best way possible.
Shortly after the peditrician came in Londynn was taken from my arms and was put into the NICU... My baby who I had carried in my stomach for 9 months had just been taken from my arms and placed in a room where she would spend the next 2 and 1/2 weeks. In that moment she was taken I prayed to Heavenly Father just GIVE ME 5 MORE MINUTES! This time he answered in a different way. He didn't give me 5 more minutes yet he gave me nurse JULIE. Julie has become one of our families biggest blessings! She made me smile when I thought I couldn't take another step. She fed me when I was to focused on Londynn and not myself. She kept the laughter alive in our family! I finally started sleeping at least an hour in 24 hours because I trusted her with Londynn. I knew she loved Londynn as much as we did. We knew Julie not only truly cared about Londynn yet our family! Heavenly father knew it would be hard to have Londynn in the NICU yet he knew exactly what He was doing. He was blessing our family with another angel and that was Julie.
In the hospital Londynn kept being put in a jar. We weren't going to allow this, not then, not ever! She was strong, she was capable and there was to many times where I found myself saying please just GIVE HER 5 MORE MINUTES she deserves that. I want to change the way these kids get treated. I want to be and I will be their advocates! We believe in them! They need more people to believe in them so they can live up to everything they are capable of! I want to share my story so others can know they are not alone and they have support!
Londynn wasn't bad luck... I wish I had 5 MORE MINUTES to educate that pediatrician on how big of a blessing and how much happiness these beautiful children bring into our lives! We are so LUCKY Heavenly Father chose us to be the parents to one of His most blessed angels.
These children deserve so much more. So please take just 5 MINUTES to share our story to bring awareness to these beautiful children and all they are capable of. As well give yourself 5 MORE MINUTES to show a little extra love, kindness, strength and faith.
Thanks Scotty McCreery for inspiring me to finally write this.
Copyright © 2017 by Madisen Clark
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator." Madisen Clark (livingwithalittleextra)