My life hasn't always been the easiest journey yet the day that I married my best friend on May 1st, 2015 I believe that road changed for the better. I can't believe how much my life has changed! Logan has blessed me with his unconditional love and also helped bring our greatest blessing into this world, Londynn.
21 was always just a number for me. It didn't represent anything special until the day Londynn was born now, it's our lucky number. Having a baby with T21 at the age of 20 is very rare and this is a constant reminder of how Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when blessing our family with Londynn.
I worked with special needs students in high school. In the 3 years I was blessed with the experience to work with Dylan. Dylan was also diagnosed with T21! I remember in high school constantly saying that I would LOVE to be a parent to a special child. Well our Heavenly Father listened and granted me my wish. As a young couple Logan and I have been given the biggest blessing we could have ever received. This shows me that Heavenly Father is always listening to every prayer and every conversation, He knows us and loves us unconditionally. I couldn't be more grateful for our Heavenly Father listening to me and blessing us with exactly what I had asked for a few short years earlier.
Londynn's diagnosis of Trisomy 21 changed my life completely. Many fears come with this diagnosis, many fears that I knew I needed to let go of. I knew I needed to let go of these fears so that I could enjoy our life with Londynn and give her the life she deserves. I can't do that if I allow myself to live with fear. Sometimes the biggest fear is letting go of what you are afraid of.
I told you I want to be honest with you about our life and our journey with Londynn so I'm going to share with you 21 fears that came along with her diagnosis. We want you to know even though we have these fears our blessings have never failed to shine through.
She wasn't going to look like us.
She was going to be made fun of.
She could die earlier than us.
She could get Leukemia.
She would have to get surgery because her holes in heart wouldn't close.
She would have to be on oxygen for a long time.
She wouldn't be able to play sports because of low muscle tone.
She would be looked at as Down Syndrome not Londynn.
She wouldn't be treated equal.
She wouldn't breastfeed.
She wouldn't pass her hearing test.
She would have trouble with her eye sight.
She would have a hard time walking.
She wouldn't have me or her family to take care of her one day and she has to go to the state.
She would be treated different by family, friends and strangers.
She wouldn't know how much we truly loved her.
People would be uncomfortable around her.
We wouldn't be able to travel.
People wouldn't want to hangout with us.
She would be in the NICU for a long time.
She would always have to be supplemented.
LETTING GO OF OUR 21 FEARS
We chose to let go of our 21 balloons of fear at the end of this photoshoot. These balloons carried 21 fears that I have carried after finding out about Londynn's diagnosis. I'm so glad I was able to finally trust that Londynn had chosen Logan and I to be her parents and let these fears go. YES these fears will still creep into my head at time yet when this happens I remind myself I no longer choose to live with these fears. From this point forward I promised myself that I would try to live a life with Londynn based on trust and faith.
By letting go of these fears that day I realized I was setting myself free from the worry and stress I felt daily. We set those fears free to our Heavenly Father, there's no one I would trust more then Him to hold these fears for me and embrace us with his unconditional love and understanding. When we allow Him to hold these fears He allows us to live the life we deserve with Londynn and for that we will always be grateful.
Our family knows that some of these fears might become reality one day yet none of us may predict what our future holds. For now we will choose faith instead of fear and trust Heavenly Father's plan he has set forth for our family here on earth.
Copyright © 2017 by Madisen Clark
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator." Madisen Clark (livingwithalittleextra)